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<| The Onion 27 September 2000  

A Year Without Movies Or TV?
Hollywood is on edge over potential actors' and writers' strikes next year, which would cripple the television and film industries. What do you think about these looming work stoppages?

"My God. Episodes of Titus might have to be rationed to one a month."
 Ben Upchurch, Carpet Installer

"How am I supposed to get by on the hundreds of thousands of movies and TV shows that have already been made?"
 Dana Demuth, Librarian

"I was deeply moved when Jenna Elfman stood up on that ABC-sweatshop table holding a 'Union' sign."
 Andrea Leach, Speech Pathologist

"The commercial actors have been on strike for five months, and just look how the quality has slipped. That new Buick Regal ad is a huge disappointment."
 Robert Anders, Systems Analyst

"It sickens me that these studio overlords refuse to give in to these poor actors' simple demand for seared foie gras with young arugula and cherry chutney in their catering spreads."
 Ken Watson, Auto Mechanic

"I'm only supporting the strike because I don't want to get on David Hyde Pierce's bad side."
 Larry Odomes, Bond Trader
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